an honest prayer: death to anxiety

Father, I love You.

Thank You for the grace to proclaim my love for You, even when I feel so tired and worried about every facet of life. Thank You, that You always allow me to come back to proclaiming my love for You. I love You, Father. I love You for reasons that can not be counted, and today, I love You for Your confidence.

You are a confident God, never insecure or anxious. You do not fear tomorrow, and You do not regret yesterday. You are always present, always confident, always secure. God, thank You that You are infinitely stable. You are the Great I AM, the One who needs nothing but wants the heart of all people. You are the only one capable of independence, yet You desire relationship.

You call us Your workmanship. I can’t help but ask, why? Why are we Your workmanship? We are needy people, giving way to anxious feelings and thoughts that are unreasonable to the mind of Christ. We believe lies about ourselves and the world. We give our time and attention to ideas You never endorsed. We are broken people, who You seem to obsess over. Why do You do it? You are all-sufficient. You aren’t insecure, grappling for the attention of humanity for Your own sake. You aren’t insecure, but You are jealous. You are jealous for us, for our sake. You understand that a breath without Christ isn’t a breath at all, because life cannot coexist with death. One is either alive, or one is dead. You say that life comes through One man, Christ. A breath without You isn’t a breath at all. You call us Your workmanship. That title is an honor that I am undeserving to hold. Lord, continue to work in my heart. You finish every work that You begin. You edify, sanctify, and modify the ways of my mind and heart to sculpt me into a reflection of You.

To reflect You, is all that I would ever want. The anxiety that I cling to is heavy. I surrender my anxiety today. To reflect You, would be to know that Christ is Lord. To reflect You, would be to trust that the grains of sand are numbered and named. To reflect You, would be to die to self. Father, I want to reflect You. I want to know You. I want to see a clear picture of Your heart. I know, more than anything else, if I can catch a glimpse of Your nature, anxiety will die. Father, let me see You clearly. Help my eyes to remain glued to your beauty.

You are beautiful. I love You. I trust You. I am free. Amen.